Monday, November 3, 2008

The Jerry Seinfeld Game

The Jerry Seinfeld Game
By David Thurston

“What’s the deal with Coffee Cups? Is it a cup made out of coffee? I don’t think so. Head Cheese, wow. I don’t ever want to see those words that close together.”
Classic comedy from the "Great One", Jerry Seinfeld.
It works because there are two interpretations the word "head," obviously. Coffee cup can mean that the cup is for coffee or that it is made of coffee. And To get a better grasp of reinterpreting words Greg Dean’s book on standup is second to none and a must read for every aspiring comic.
Skip a head, skip a head, I was doing an improvised scene in a class at The Annoyance. I played an extremely nervous comedian who is trying out new jokes on a friend right before he is going on stage:
“What’s the deal with a hair tie? Is it a tie made out of hair? What’s the deal with eye glasses? Is it a glass you drink out of made out of eye balls? What’s up Daddy’O? Like everyone’s father is Irish.”
I don’t know why I said that last one about the Irish thing, but anyways, this scene inspired me to write down 25 compound words, try to find a reinterpretation for one or both of those words and put them back together to either explain the new definition or use the new definition in a sentence that would explain or heighten the ridiculousness of the new meaning of the compound word.

How to play the Jerry Seinfeld game:

Step 1:
Write down 25 compound words.

Step 2:
Find more than one definition for one or both of those words.

Step 3:
Explain the new definition and or use it in a sentence that heightens the new definition.

These are the best of the 25 that I wrote. I’m sure you can do better.

What’s the deal with Coat Hangers? It sounds like coats are killing people with rope.
What’s the deal with Brick Buildings? Come on over this weekend Frank we have a brick shortage so we’ll be brick building.
What’s the deal with Desert Dishes? It sounds like a gorgeous women made out of ice cream.
What’s the deal with Bunt Cake? Can’t the cake get on base by taking a full swing?
What’s the deal with Dresser Drawers. Sounds like a choice, “Are you going out tonight wearing a dress or drawers. Or maybe that’s underwear for your dresser.
What’s the deal with a Bill Board? It sounds like you have to pay to be bored.
What’s the deal with Pussy Cat’s? (That’s too easy).
What’s the deal with Bull Dog’s? Why can’t undefined meat in tube form tell the truth?
What’s the deal with Rain Check’s. Isn’t that what you do to see if you need an umbrella?
What’s the deal with Roller Girl’s? Flattening dough with your daughter.
What’s the deal with Foster Home? Wouldn’t that be Australia? Foster’s Australian for write better jokes.
What’s the deal with Out Back? Would that be a returning Gay?
What’s the deal with Digital Clock’s? That’s where they hit you with the numbers.
What’s the deal with Lean Machines? That’s a computer that needs a V8.
What’s the deal with Dry Erase Boards? 7 years that Dry Erase board has been sober.
What’s the deal with Ball Rooms? That’s where your parents send you when you’ve been bad and it’s made out of testicles.
What’s the deal with Abb Busters? That’s a tiny vacuum for your stomach. It could be a team that prevents abb's from cheating. Or Abdominal muscles that fight crime, a new TV show on Spike TV. Abb Buster's 8/9 central.

I hope you enjoyed the Jerry Seinfeld Game. It is a great writing exercise. It’s worth sitting down and writing some out for 15 minutes a day. It’s a good tool to have. It’s a great structure to use if you are going to do the Dave Thurston 10 minute challenge where you challenge yourself to write and perform 10 minutes of new material every week. You can read more about the Dave Thurston 10 minute challenge at www.myspace.com/thurstoncomedy

I also think this would be a great improv game for troupes that like to do short form games.

Here is the challenge. I challenge anyone to write out 25 Jerry Seinfeld's and post you favorites to this blog at www.myspace.com/azstandup. Good luck and may Jerry be with you.

By David Michael Thurston
www.myspace.com/thurstoncomedy

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Zanies Comedy Class with Dobie Maxwell

Zanies Comedy Class with Dobie Maxwell

I walked in to Zanies the other day to take a class on standup comedy from Dobie Maxwell, one of the most lovable people I've ever meet and a great comedy coach. We did and excersise called "Tom Swifities." They explained why it was called Tom Swifties but I was already thinking about the excersise and didn't hear the explanation.
An example was given on how Tom Swifties work:

"My ex-wife took my house Tom exclaimed." Exclaimed. That's very clever. So we did ten Tom Swifties in class and then we were challengened to do 100 throughout the week. I did 60 the other day while doing laundry. These are the best of those 60.

Tom Swifies

Can I hold the ladder for you Stan Tom said understandingly.

Did I win Tom wondered.

I hate yard work Tom snipped.

No one dies of alcohol poisoning Tom delivered.

We got to get their guns Tom said disarmingly.

I hate doing laundry Tom hampered.

I'm never ironing again Tom burned.

I'm deing Tom said willingly.

That's not kosher Tom hammed.

This is not coffee Tom teased.

No I'm Peter Tom repeated.

This soup is bland Tom assaulted.

I don't want to by this land but I will Tom ached.


Not the best comedy in the world but in helped me re-focus on the discipline of writting. So thanks Dobie. I'll see you next Monday.

For this and other blogs about comedy go to www. myspace.com/azstandup

Friday, October 17, 2008

Bill Burr Interview

Bill, thanks for taking the time to do an interview with Born Standing Up.

Have you read Born Standing Up?

Yes, I read Born Standing Up. I got it for Christmas, that and the, “Slash” autobiography.What stuck out to you?

There were countless things that stuck out. Here’s a quick list. The story Martin told about moving out and not calling home because he didn’t know he was suppose to. The loneliness of being on the road. The fact that he already had a writing job, but had the nerve to walk away and try and make it as a comic. I was also unaware of how many tickets he sold. He sold out Nassau Coliseum three times! I’m old enough to remember seeing Eddie Murphy on the Raw tour so I was aware of the big venues he played. But I was completely unaware of how big Steve Martin was. It made me wonder if they compared arena tour memories on the set of “Bowfinger.”
“You ever play the Kingdom?”
“Yeah, 4 shows. Good gig but sound was fucked up.”
“I know, I couldn’t hear myself.”

How old were you when you started comedy?

I was 23 years old when I did my first open mic night at Nick’s Comedy Stop in Boston.

How long did it take you before you felt like you were funny onstage?

Well that depends on what kind of funny you mean. As far as funny in a “getting the job done” for a 10 minute guest set: That took about two years. To become a solid middle act in hell rooms was another two years. Seven years to be a decent B room closer. And I don’t think I began to find my voice until year number 12. (I just hit year 16 last month).

What is the best advice you ever received?

That’s a tough one. I’ve gotten a lot of great advice from other comics over the years. I think the best stand up advice I’ve gotten is to say what you think is funny. I always found it weird when a comic would say something hysterical and then every comic would go, “You should do that on stage.” And nine times out of ten the response would be, “Nah...I can’t get away with that. That joke isn’t me.” How can that joke not be you? You just thought it and then you said it. People always talk about finding their voice on stage. You don’t have to find it. You just have to listen to it.

Who do you think is funny?

Too many to list. Everyone from Foster Brooks and Don Rickles to guys I saw when I first came to NYC like Dave Attel, Louie CK, Dave Chappelle, Tracy Morgan. Somebody recently showed me a clip on youtube called Derek and Clive -The Prince of Whales. I’m ashamed to say that I had never heard of Peter Cook and I was blown away by the guy. Also it was great to see Dudley Moore being that evil. I heard when he began doing movies that he was worried that the Derek and Clive stuff would surface ruin his career.What advice do you have for up and coming comics?
Get on stage as much as possible and challenge yourself to find new levels in confidence and performance so you continue to grow.

If you ever had a bad set, how did you deal with that?

Any time I have a bad set I think about killing myself until the next time I get on stage and have a good set. Actually now that I’ve done stand up for as long as I have, I only hate myself for about an hour after a bad set.

What are your future aspirations?

Try and get better as a comic.

What is the difference between a good comic and a great comic?

When I watch a great comic, I don’t feel like a comedian in that moment. I feel like a member of the audience. When I watch a good comic, I’m just thinking, “How much time is he doing?”

Describe your writing process?

When I started out I wrote everything down. But as you continue to perform you get more and more comfortable on stage. So eventually you stop writing and switch over to riffing. Since I switched to that style, I find that I rarely listen to tapes of my set anymore. I have a lot of stuff that is hit or miss, but for some reason (laziness) I can’t seem to get the discipline to sit down and work it out. My writing process as of today is: When I see something funny, I turn my watch around backward. Then later on in the day, when I look down at my watch and I see it’s backwards, it reminds me to talk about the funny thing that I saw or thought earlier. When I’m in a comedy club and I think of something, I’ll write the subject down on a cocktail napkin and take it up on stage. Then at some point during the set I’ll see the napkin and start talking about whatever I wrote down. Hence, there is a lot of bombing.

Who do you see as a new and up coming comic?

I like Joe DeRosa, Kevin Shea, Jay Oakerson, Kurt Metzker (Don’t know about the spelling on those last two names.

Do you have any good stories from being on the road that you would like to share?

Last weekend during a show at Giggles in Seattle, a hefty woman fell down one step and dumped a full beer right on her crotch, before the show even started. By the time I got on stage, she was hammered. As I told my jokes, she wouldn't laugh. She would just yell “Whoooooooooooooooo!!!!” like she was on a roller coaster or something. So after 20 minutes of this, I say in a very nice way to stop going “Whoooooooooooo!!!!” after every joke. I tell her if something is funny: laugh. If it isn't, just sit there.I thought I said it in a nice way, but next thing I know she's just sort of staring at me while simultaneously giving me the finger. She held it close to her chest so no one else could see what she was doing. Thus it felt much more intimate and hurtful. It was like she was whispering "Fuck you" at me, as the rest of the crowd was listening to me tell the next joke.So for some stupid reason I felt like I had to address it. We ended up having a little back and forth discussion and then people in the back started telling her to "Shut the Fuck up."So she told all of them to "Shut the Fuck up." and it started to get ugly.I finished out my set and as I was standing up at the bar she got in my face and demanded her 20 dollars back. I told her I didn't have the power to make that happen. She then told me that she WAS a big fan of mine but NOW she wasn't.At that point somebody else yelled at her: "Why don't you shut up! Nobody likes you!"Then she flipped out and shrieked, "PEOPLE LIKE ME! I'M A GOOD PERSON!!!!"Then it was just fuckin' weird. She eventually stormed out of the club and proceeded to get into a hair pulling, earring flying cat fight in front of the club.And the best part was that I know she woke up the next day and at no point did she think: "Wow. The comedian said I was annoying. Twenty six people in the crowd said I was annoying. I spilled a full beer right on my twat and then I got into a fight in front of the club. I really need to calm down and figure out what I'm doing with my life."I'll bet any amount of she called her friends up and her first statement was: "Can you believe those people?"

Arj Barker Interview

Have you read Born Standing Up?

A few pages...I've started it, but kind’a got hooked on another book and can't put it down at the moment. (Blood Meridian, by Cormack McCarthy)What stuck out to you?

I only got a couple chapters in, so not much so far. He's still working at Disneyland when I left off.

How old were you when you started comedy?
I was about 19.7 or so...

How long did it take you before you felt like you were funny onstage?

I'm not bragging, but I think I got real laughs on my first show. I didn't kill, but I could feel a potential there and I was hooked instantly.

What is the best advice you ever received?

Never encourage a college audience in Idaho to send you shots onstage. You'll live to regret it - if you're lucky. I never actually received this advice, but I wished I had.

What do you think is funny?

That which is unexpected which makes me laugh, so given this, further detail is not possible. And farts.

What advice do you have for up and coming comics?

Don't worry too much about what other comics are doing - it can be a slippery slope. No one can do what you do, so work on your own shit. Never stop trying stuff out. Never think a joke can't get better or longer. Try out new material as often as possible and don't worry if it doesn't kill it at first - I find that a mediocre or downright crappy premise often leads to decent or exceptional one (NOT ALWAYS THOUGH :))

Why don’t comics support other comics more?

Because they're scared that they'll get shown up and no one will love them. In reality though, when you help other comics out, it will come back to you double (unless you are doing it solely for this reason in which case the magic might not work)

If you ever had a bad set, how did you deal with that?

The easiest thing is just to blame it on the audience. Otherwise, I just try to shake it off, and do another one as soon as possible to get the taste out my mouth.

What are your future aspirations?

Get me a little macadamia farm in Australia and have me a few dogs, maybe a wife.

What is the difference between a good comic and a great comic?

A few drinks.

Describe your writing process?

Don't rightly have one that I can say. It's a combination of jotting ideas down as they come and trying them out onstage, the combination of which forms my act. I think.

Who do you see as a new and up coming comic?

Nathan Habib out of the Bay Area. Look out for him


My main website is: ArjBarker.Com
My cartoon series is at: ArjAndPoopy.Com
http://www.myspace.com/arjbarker

Interview with Tom Rhodes

Have you read Born Standing Up?

Yes, and I love every morsel of it. Especially when he goes back to the little theater at Knott's Berry farm and realizes that that is where he learned everything that made him great.

Did anything else stick out to you?

The poor relationship he had with his Dad. I was stunned to read that when he took his Dad to the premiere of "The Jerk" (an all time classic) his father told his friend "Well he's no Charlie Chaplin is he?" I almost started crying.

How old were you when you started comedy?

17.

How long did it take you before you felt like you were funny onstage?

10 years.What is the best advice you ever received?Tell them the joke, show them the joke. Meaning that if you act it out just a little it is 1,000 times funnier.

Who do you think is funny?

My brother John.What advice do you have for up and coming comics?Put more funny in it. Don't do it for the money just do it because you love it or get out of the business.
There is a group of comics in Phoenix committed to reposting bulletins on myspace for each other. In addition to that what can comics do to support other comics?Stop talking shit about each other.

If you ever had a bad set, how did you deal with that?

I'm still learning that one.

What are your future aspirations?

To keep writing better jokes.

What is the difference between a good comic and a great comic?

A good comic tells the audience what they want to hear and a great comic tells the
audience what they didn't know they wanted to hear.

Describe your writing process?

The best jokes for me always come from having intelligent conversations with intelligent people.Who do you see as a new and up coming comic?

My brother John.

Do you have any good stories from being on the road that you would like to share?

Too many to tell. Great comedian friendships, women, parties and lots of laughter. Who would dedicate their lives to anything else?What do you think makes your set unique
My travel experience and my world knowledge.

P.S. I want to talk more about the book...I feel uncomfortable with questions about comedy.Like Johnny Carson said if you have to explain comedy it kills it.Born standing up touched me supremely.

I loved how Mr. Martin spoke of never being in the moment as a comedian because as you are telling a joke you are thinking 2 or 3 jokes ahead. Also how studies should be done on comedians getting sick. I have thought about it forever but Mr. Martin clarified it perfectly how as a comedian you won't get sick when you have shows.But when you have free time your body will get sick because your body knows what’s important and when you can afford to get sick.

Let's get small-Tom

Doing standup is like running up an escalator that's going down

Doing standup comedy is like running up an escalator that is going down ten times faster than it is supposed to. Just staying on the elevator is an achievement. Some times you have a good show and you get to the top. Those are the good days. But the next day might be the opposite. So enjoy it when do get to the top.
Just staying on the escalator is something to be proud of and no one should discourage anyone from doing what they need to do to stay on the escalator. If you have porn jokes then do porn jokes. However, you do want to get on TV. I’m going to do everything I can to encourage you and everyone else to have a set that can get on TV. It might not be a popular stance. I’m against jokes about pornography. I’m proud of that. I’m not going to back down. It might have a lot of back lash, but I want to encourage everyone to write jokes that can be on youtube and can be on the Tonight Show. And when you get your TV show you don’t have to thank me. But I will ask you to book me and help me get booked. Just get me on the escalator one more time.

How to deal with having a bad set

How to deal with having a bad set.

“The easiest thing is just to blame it on the audience. Otherwise, I just try to shake it off, and do another one as soon as possible to get the taste out my mouth.” -Arj Barker

”Any time I have a bad set I think about killing myself until the next time I get on stage and have a good set. Actually now that I’ve done stand up for as long as I have, I only hate myself for about an hour after a bad set.”

-Bill Burr

“I have never had a bad set.”

-Dante

“Get really angry at myself and be funnier next time.”

-Greg Fitzsimmons

“Shake it off and keep getting better. You do have to be really honest with yourself about whether it was you or the crowd. You can't always blame them, even when they suck. You have a job to do. If you didn't get laughs you didn't do your job and you shouldn't expect someone to hire you for any kind of real money unless you can deliver. If I hired a plumber and he fixed one pipe and ruined everything else and then blamed the last plumber for being to good or not good enough I'd tell him to get knotted and never hire him again. And neither would you.”

-Hal Sparks

“I got booed by 10,000 people I just don't let it bother me anymore. You’re never that good and you’re never that bad. No one bats 500 during the season.”

-Jimmy Shubert

“Just try to forget it and move on. That’s one of the benefits of getting up a lot. You have a set that same night so you learn to move on.”

-Maz Jabroni

“Get back on stage. Well all have bad sets. With time you learn from them.”

-Alonzo Boden

“By going and trying to have a good one... and cocaine.”

-Greg Behrendt

“I beat myself up and then I let it go. I dissected what it was that I did and what went wrong.”

-Anjelah Johnson

“Do another set.”

-Doug Benson

“I have had a lot. Everyone is different. When I was newer at doing it I dwelled more. Now, I don’t care. I know I’m funny.”

-Jeff Richards

“I've eaten shit plenty of times. Hell, I ate shit on national television during the LCS Roast my season. It sucks, it never gets any better, you always remember THAT set, but you dust yourself off and go play a room you love to feel like a comic again. Failure on stage stings, and makes us correct mistakes. It's "usually" not the audiences fault. Eating shit builds character...period.”
-Kristin Key

“Take it like a man. You got to shake it off. Now, I’ve been doing it long enough that I know it’s not me anymore. That’s not being cocky that’s just experience. I know when a sets not going well and I like to try to scramble and come up with something. I think it’s good for you. Just try not to have it be a TV set.”

-Dobie Maxwell

“The same way I deal with troubled relationships, unpaid bills, new shoes, plane delays or coming in last place. I drink.”

-Doug Stanhope

“Are you shitting me? If you don't have bad sets you're not trying hard enough or taking risks...I beat my wife”

-Nick De Palo

“Booze and Halo?”

-Nick Swardson